Jun 11, 2012

How about the slimming effect of tea?

"Why the slimming power of tea doesn't work on me? Why??"
Does tea have slimming effect? What kind of tea has slimming effect?

First, let me tell a story. It's a popular story in China. I have a vague impression that it's from an ancient story book whose name I can't recall.

------------Here is the story.--------------

Once upon a time, there was a wizard who was selling magic seals with a supernatural power to repel mosquitoes. You know, sometimes you just need something like that because mosquitoes can drive people crazy!

A man heard from his fellow villagers that the magic seal indeed worked well. So he came to the wizard to buy the magic seal. He saw the magic seal was just a thin piece of paper filled with strange characters and drawings. He asked, "Will such a piece of paper really keep mosquitoes away?"

The wizard said, "Of course. 100% guaranteed."

Hence the man bought the magic seal and posted it on his bedroom wall. The following night, he suffered no less from mosquito attack throughout the night. The man was outraged, "This damn magic seal has no magic at all!"

The next day, the man saw the wizard in the village and asked him angrily, "How come your magic seal didn't work at all?!"

The wizard said, "Impossible! It worked for everyone!"

At the moment, two villagers were passing by. The wizard stopped them and asked, "How is my magic seal working?"
"It works perfectly." The villagers said.
The wizard turned to the angry man, "See, it works! You must have misused it. Where did you post it?"
The man said, "I posted it on my bedroom wall."
The wizard and the two villagers all laughed. "That's why it didn't work for you. You didn't use it correctly! You are supposed to obtain a new mosquito net first. Then, you should sleep inside the mosquito net at night, and post the magic seal right on the mosquito net. It will work perfectly, as long as you follow the instructions." The wizard said, and the two villagers nodded along.

--------------------The End--------------------

Now back to our original topic. Does tea have slimming effect? What kind of tea has slimming effect? Well, I guess, the answer is, any kind of tea has perfect slimming effect, as long as you follow the instructions. Then what are the instructions? They are simple: Before and after drinking your tea, eat as little as possible, and work out as much as possible.

Did tea help me, a big tea lover lose weight? Unfortunately, no! (As much as I really need to lose weight!) Why? Because I didn't follow the instructions. I always have more than excellent appetite after drinking tea. I never "eat as little as possible". So I fully understand that it was because I didn't follow the instruction, not because the "magic" didn't work!

Now let me tell you a secret, a secret to be kept among readers of this blog only! Guess what! Bacon has slimming effect too! But to make it work for you, instructions must be followed: 1 piece of bacon every day at noon; Then eat as little as possible, and work out as much as possible every day.

If you use bacon in the right way (as described above), you will see its slimming effect very, very soon!

Ok, I guess you could tell I'm not being serious today :-D

"Well, I know why tea doesn't have a slimming effect on me..."


Anonymous said...

you are too funny... no, tea did not help me lose weight, reduced cholesterol, blood pressure nor sugar - guess you are not the only one not following instructions :)

Nick Herman said...

In fact, most people would lost weight if they simply ate less carbohydrates and sugar; FAT, on the other hand, tends to be stored for immediate energetic use and is burned more easily. However, a greater percentage of carbs are stored for future use for your body than other types of molecules, and if they are not used...they turn to fat.

As for myself..I eat a lot, I exercise a lot, and I drink a lot of tea.
5'9, 145 lbs.

Alex Zorach said...

I agree with Nick here; I think mainstream American culture has falsely emphasized low fat things as a way of losing weight. I think the only healthy way to approach weight loss is holistically, eating a diverse diet, and looking to avoid the more harmfully-processed foods like refined carbs which contribute empty calories or other imbalances.

But I think this is a great post! =)